So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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