So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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