There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
