You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
