I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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