I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
