i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
