i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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