so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize