Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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