my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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