dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
