It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
