hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
