so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
3 2 1 whiskey
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
