saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
