I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
