I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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