My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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