dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Screwed.edu
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
