I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She bit a glass in half.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
