i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
