Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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