I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
