she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
