I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
