I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
