I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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