I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I want to make a zoo with you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
