i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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