Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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