Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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