belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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