if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
