So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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