Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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