hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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