How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
