i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Come share oat with me in your robe
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize