I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize