Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
