Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
