You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
