I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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