Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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