Sry I called you an 8
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
