Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
