brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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