i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
