Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
