I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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