Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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