maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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