i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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