By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
