she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think my moral compass just broke
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