I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
