I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
