I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
