hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
