She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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