Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
